Forever Technique: Dealing with Grief
by Alessandra Cardellini
This technique is meant for supporting people in grieving when they access to the specific phase of acceptance in which they get able to start the transformation of the loss into something valuable (resilience competence).
Aim: to create an inner rediscover and dialogue with a dead person. The physical space of the room will be used plus the tools orientation of toward/away (written on papers put on the floor) and time (past/present/future).
Setting:
Aim: to create an inner rediscover and dialogue with a dead person. The physical space of the room will be used plus the tools orientation of toward/away (written on papers put on the floor) and time (past/present/future).
Setting:
MetaPosition
Instructions:
1. Creating rapport. Ask to client to put past, present and future in the room. Then papers with the title toward and away will be put on the floor for the past and present.
2. Introduction: Explain to client that in relationship (with other or with ourselves) there are 2 tendencies: going toward someone or away. This is framed in the context of the relationship with the dead person, how was when tending toward or away from the person.
3. Client go to explore past: he/she steps on toward (feeling explorations + writing key words on the toward paper). Client steps on away (feeling exploration + wiring key words on the paper). If needed exploration of the resources (what you would have needed for going toward + adding key words on the paper). Reframing of toward papers content as transformation of state /feelings in competences: “those things you experience in the relationship with the person are living in you and they are competences you learned out of it”.
4. Going in meta position and eco-check.
5. Client go to explore present: he/she is free to start from where it feels like. Toward feelings exploration + actual competences for going toward + writing on the paper). Exploration of away position consequences and outcomes.
6. Going in meta position and eco-check
7. Milton language: the client is told that in the past things could have been not like he/she wanted but for sure the intention of the dead person was the best and out of love. With this perspective client is asked to go back to past. Check the away paper and possibility to leave in the past this things (client can destroy the paper or whatever he/she feels like to get rid of things written there). Client dealing with resources in toward paper (the paper can be put in the client pocket as a tool for the future). Client is asked to step a bit backward and to thank for all the beautiful and bad things happened with the dead person because they contribute to his/hers actual self.
8. Going in meta position and eco-check.
9. Client is told that this dead person is not physically present anymore but live inside of him/her, that where is possible to meet the person anytime. Whit this perspective client is asked to go to present, dealing with away and toward papers again (feeling exploration and competences to be written on the toward papers). exploration of the benefits effect noticed by his/her environment gotten by tending toward. Getting rid of the away paper in a way is more suitable for the client.
10. Symbol as a gift: in the present client is asked to have a look to the toward paper from past and present. Finding connection and collecting resources. Person is asked to combine them into a symbolic gift for the dead person.
11. With the symbolic gift client is asked to go again in the present and to image to give this gift to the dead person. Anchor of this symbolic relationship with the dead person established with the gift.
12. Going in meta position and eco-check.
13. Future Pace: Going in the future with the anchor and the symbol.
14. Going back in meta position and eco-check.
Instructions:
1. Creating rapport. Ask to client to put past, present and future in the room. Then papers with the title toward and away will be put on the floor for the past and present.
2. Introduction: Explain to client that in relationship (with other or with ourselves) there are 2 tendencies: going toward someone or away. This is framed in the context of the relationship with the dead person, how was when tending toward or away from the person.
3. Client go to explore past: he/she steps on toward (feeling explorations + writing key words on the toward paper). Client steps on away (feeling exploration + wiring key words on the paper). If needed exploration of the resources (what you would have needed for going toward + adding key words on the paper). Reframing of toward papers content as transformation of state /feelings in competences: “those things you experience in the relationship with the person are living in you and they are competences you learned out of it”.
4. Going in meta position and eco-check.
5. Client go to explore present: he/she is free to start from where it feels like. Toward feelings exploration + actual competences for going toward + writing on the paper). Exploration of away position consequences and outcomes.
6. Going in meta position and eco-check
7. Milton language: the client is told that in the past things could have been not like he/she wanted but for sure the intention of the dead person was the best and out of love. With this perspective client is asked to go back to past. Check the away paper and possibility to leave in the past this things (client can destroy the paper or whatever he/she feels like to get rid of things written there). Client dealing with resources in toward paper (the paper can be put in the client pocket as a tool for the future). Client is asked to step a bit backward and to thank for all the beautiful and bad things happened with the dead person because they contribute to his/hers actual self.
8. Going in meta position and eco-check.
9. Client is told that this dead person is not physically present anymore but live inside of him/her, that where is possible to meet the person anytime. Whit this perspective client is asked to go to present, dealing with away and toward papers again (feeling exploration and competences to be written on the toward papers). exploration of the benefits effect noticed by his/her environment gotten by tending toward. Getting rid of the away paper in a way is more suitable for the client.
10. Symbol as a gift: in the present client is asked to have a look to the toward paper from past and present. Finding connection and collecting resources. Person is asked to combine them into a symbolic gift for the dead person.
11. With the symbolic gift client is asked to go again in the present and to image to give this gift to the dead person. Anchor of this symbolic relationship with the dead person established with the gift.
12. Going in meta position and eco-check.
13. Future Pace: Going in the future with the anchor and the symbol.
14. Going back in meta position and eco-check.
Self-Management Coaching Technique
by Claudia Rosbergen
Introduction
Self-Management technique is for people who are not able to take care of themselves in different ways. I work with people who come from different backgrounds. People who are homeless, working in prostitution, who have debt, who live of a foodshelter, teenage moms etc. Its very hard for this group to survive in this economy. People who are out of the social system basically. These people needs support and guidance to go back to society. So the people are able to manage themselves individually without support or guidance.
Because it is custom work and you can not generalize everyone you have to apply different NLP techniques on the client. Examples of the NLP technique you can use is: VAKOG, Timeline, change history, reframing, Walt Disney, Meta mirror, meta programs, new behavior generator, rapport reimprinting, how to set a goal etc.
Steps of Self-Management
Step 1 - Screening the client
Make a inventory of the client problem(s). Interview the client use rapport technique, representational systems, well formed objectives, new behavior generator or meta programs.
Step 2 - Fill in the inventory by a checklist
These techniques are used with the clients according to their needs.
Inventory *
Step 3
Working step by step on the inventory solving the problems so the client can start with a clean sheet.
Step 4 - Working out the Self Management Technique
When are the inventory items are fulfilled and being taken care off. The client has to be motivated and educated to manage himself/herself in every day life. The client does not get hopeless or worthless again. The client is trained to handle all the things individually. It will have the following conditions:
Conclusion
When the client follows all the steps the client is able to motivate himself/herself to have a new future without support or guidance.
Self-Management technique is for people who are not able to take care of themselves in different ways. I work with people who come from different backgrounds. People who are homeless, working in prostitution, who have debt, who live of a foodshelter, teenage moms etc. Its very hard for this group to survive in this economy. People who are out of the social system basically. These people needs support and guidance to go back to society. So the people are able to manage themselves individually without support or guidance.
Because it is custom work and you can not generalize everyone you have to apply different NLP techniques on the client. Examples of the NLP technique you can use is: VAKOG, Timeline, change history, reframing, Walt Disney, Meta mirror, meta programs, new behavior generator, rapport reimprinting, how to set a goal etc.
Steps of Self-Management
Step 1 - Screening the client
Make a inventory of the client problem(s). Interview the client use rapport technique, representational systems, well formed objectives, new behavior generator or meta programs.
Step 2 - Fill in the inventory by a checklist
These techniques are used with the clients according to their needs.
Inventory *
- Financial state ( To make a schedule of the in and out going payments and also the debt so we have a clear point of view what things need to be worked on. Technique setting goals and new behavior generator.
- Life Circumstances ( What is the state of the client, homeless, renting a house, shelter, sleeping with others) Technique meta programs or timeline. Education/Skills ( What is the background of the client) Technique setting goals and key parameters of modelling.
- Medical Conditions ( Does the client have a Allergies, fears, phobia etc) Technique phobia cure and allergy technique
- Personal problems (It could be different things) Different NLP Techniques can be applied.
- Addiction ( Can be of different kinds) Technique reimprinting or change history.
- Future goals ( Future plans) Technique new behavior, identity process or timeline.
- Self Management Technique new behavior or Key parameters of Modelling
Step 3
Working step by step on the inventory solving the problems so the client can start with a clean sheet.
Step 4 - Working out the Self Management Technique
When are the inventory items are fulfilled and being taken care off. The client has to be motivated and educated to manage himself/herself in every day life. The client does not get hopeless or worthless again. The client is trained to handle all the things individually. It will have the following conditions:
- Financial: When the financial part is cleared they are disciplined to take care of their own finances.
- Living Circumstances: to take care of the house work cleaning, cooking, body hygiene and buying groceries.
- Having a financial income: job, volunteering, study or a government payment.
- Social network: friends, network, family, work or a community.
- Setting goals for the future
- Making V/A/K point of view in dissociated state
- Anchor the positive state
- Create a symbol (coach keeps track of clients symbols and anchor in case of fall back the coach can then can make a new intervention)
- Eco-check
- Future pace Conclusion When the client follows all the steps the client is able to motivate himself/herself to have a new future without support or guidance
Conclusion
When the client follows all the steps the client is able to motivate himself/herself to have a new future without support or guidance.
King's Council
by Sasja de Valença
A lot of people have stress. One of the factors which influences their stress is that they are afraid that if they don’t do enough, other people will judge them and that it will have negative consequences. For example: “My boss will fire me if I don’t work hard enough.” “My wife will be disappointed in me if I don’t do a good job at my work and work enough in the household.” In the King’s Council technique people will become aware off the fact that other people have more mercy with them than they sometimes think. And therefore this will help them to let go of the need to constantly perform at the highest level. This will release stress.
This technique is a combination of the mentor technique of Dilts, the Fast Phobia Cure 2 and the Self-Integration/Meta Mirror.
This technique is a combination of the mentor technique of Dilts, the Fast Phobia Cure 2 and the Self-Integration/Meta Mirror.
1. Ask the client to step into the movie and explain his life and stress right now in short. (VAKOG)
2. Then ask the client to step out of his life a.k.a. the movie and go to the balcony of the King’s/Queen’s theater. Ask the client who are relevant others in their life right now that should be in his/her council (boss, partner, parents, friend). We call this the King’s or Queen’s Council since the client is the King or Queen of his/her life.
3. Then ask the client to go into the audience and act as if he is the first (mentioned) counselor watching the movie.
4. After watching the movie, ask the counselor what he feels watching this movie. Is there new information that you didn’t had about the King/Queen before? Ask if he has an advice coming from his heart for the King/Queen. Then ask which capabilities the King/Queen has to implement this advice. Then ask if/how the counselor can help the King/Queen.
5. Then step into the balcony again and ask the client how he feels about the reaction and advice of the counselor. Does he think it’s a good advice? And does the client agree on the capabilities that were mentioned by the counselor? Is there anything the client would like to change in the movie after hearing this advice. Write this down and hang it on a board.
6. Then repeat step 3-5 with all the counselors. Write down after each counselor on a paper the things that the client would like to adjust in the movie and the resources (identity/beliefs/capabilities) he has to implement this.
7. Ask the client to look at the board with the things he would like to adjust in the movie and let him pick the one/two/three most important ones. Let the client feel the capabilities that he has to implement the adjustment in the movie. Let these resources flow in his body.
8. Then ask the client to step in the adjusted movie and run it, having his resources with him. Does this feel manageable? If yes, great. If not, check what else is needed to make it manageable. Does the client need more resources? Where/from who/how can the client gain these resources? If the client doesn’t come with an answer that is good enough, go in the audience again and ask the council for advice on this.
9. Play the movie with the final changes and resources.
2. Then ask the client to step out of his life a.k.a. the movie and go to the balcony of the King’s/Queen’s theater. Ask the client who are relevant others in their life right now that should be in his/her council (boss, partner, parents, friend). We call this the King’s or Queen’s Council since the client is the King or Queen of his/her life.
3. Then ask the client to go into the audience and act as if he is the first (mentioned) counselor watching the movie.
4. After watching the movie, ask the counselor what he feels watching this movie. Is there new information that you didn’t had about the King/Queen before? Ask if he has an advice coming from his heart for the King/Queen. Then ask which capabilities the King/Queen has to implement this advice. Then ask if/how the counselor can help the King/Queen.
5. Then step into the balcony again and ask the client how he feels about the reaction and advice of the counselor. Does he think it’s a good advice? And does the client agree on the capabilities that were mentioned by the counselor? Is there anything the client would like to change in the movie after hearing this advice. Write this down and hang it on a board.
6. Then repeat step 3-5 with all the counselors. Write down after each counselor on a paper the things that the client would like to adjust in the movie and the resources (identity/beliefs/capabilities) he has to implement this.
7. Ask the client to look at the board with the things he would like to adjust in the movie and let him pick the one/two/three most important ones. Let the client feel the capabilities that he has to implement the adjustment in the movie. Let these resources flow in his body.
8. Then ask the client to step in the adjusted movie and run it, having his resources with him. Does this feel manageable? If yes, great. If not, check what else is needed to make it manageable. Does the client need more resources? Where/from who/how can the client gain these resources? If the client doesn’t come with an answer that is good enough, go in the audience again and ask the council for advice on this.
9. Play the movie with the final changes and resources.
Free from Addictions
by Luca Paolisso
1. Go to the time you start with this addiction, VAKOG, what is the message you wanted to send? What did you need?
2. Go to the first time you tried to quit, what did you need to succeed?
3. Go to the last time, what did you need to succeed?
4. Now we go to the present, imagine yourself in this room, visualize yourself taking all your smoking supplies and trowing it in the garbage.
5. Go to the future, it's been 1 year without smoking, VAKOG, what are the benefits for yourself? You can also step in a meta position and check the benefits for the other persons around you.
6. It's been 10 year without smoking. Celebrate this success, you made it. VAKOG, what are the benefits for yourself? You can also step in a meta position and check the benefits for the other persons around you. Anchor this feelings and make a symbol out of them.
7. Go back in the timeline and give yourself what you needed trough the SYMBOL.
8. Back to the present, Future pace.
2. Go to the first time you tried to quit, what did you need to succeed?
3. Go to the last time, what did you need to succeed?
4. Now we go to the present, imagine yourself in this room, visualize yourself taking all your smoking supplies and trowing it in the garbage.
5. Go to the future, it's been 1 year without smoking, VAKOG, what are the benefits for yourself? You can also step in a meta position and check the benefits for the other persons around you.
6. It's been 10 year without smoking. Celebrate this success, you made it. VAKOG, what are the benefits for yourself? You can also step in a meta position and check the benefits for the other persons around you. Anchor this feelings and make a symbol out of them.
7. Go back in the timeline and give yourself what you needed trough the SYMBOL.
8. Back to the present, Future pace.
This technique was inspired by my personal experience and how I managed to quit smoking. I made a model of what I did adding the timeline to it. I believe that it gives a very important plus because it’s important to be ok with ourselves when with started and also being in peace with the times with tried quitting but we didn’t succeed. From the present phase we can add an instruction where we dissociate from the smoker that is in us, creating this distance and making a ritual out of it can help a lot. From the future we get a lot of motivation and energy that will support in this process of getting rid of the addiction.
|
New Colors
by Itsaso Zaldibar Noriega
Background:
When life is busy, or all our energy is focused on a special project, it’s easy to lose the balance of the important areas of our life. While you need to have drive and focus if you are going to get things done, taking this too far can lead to frustration and intense stress. The wheel of life is a powerful tool because it gives a vivid visual representation of the way “your” life is currently, compared with the way you would ideally like it to be. The idea of combining with the timeline is to amplify the effect of any visualization by strengthening the association between your real experiences and those you are visualizing. This in effect makes the visualized experiences more real, which gives them more power to change any feelings or behavior that you want to change.
Procedure:
References:
Wheel of Life
When life is busy, or all our energy is focused on a special project, it’s easy to lose the balance of the important areas of our life. While you need to have drive and focus if you are going to get things done, taking this too far can lead to frustration and intense stress. The wheel of life is a powerful tool because it gives a vivid visual representation of the way “your” life is currently, compared with the way you would ideally like it to be. The idea of combining with the timeline is to amplify the effect of any visualization by strengthening the association between your real experiences and those you are visualizing. This in effect makes the visualized experiences more real, which gives them more power to change any feelings or behavior that you want to change.
Procedure:
- Draw the wheel of life with all the areas of your life that are important for you.
- Paint with different colors each area and score each area from 0 to 10.
- In each area we integrate the timeline technique. From the present situation, we travel to the past experiences to support the future experiences.
- We go to the present again, (meta-position) and we continue to the future, to visualize our goals or wishes.
- Go back to the present and summarize.
References:
Wheel of Life
The Best Version of Yourself
by Francesca Agnese
This tool is meant to be used by anyone of any age who has to face a situation they are scared about. This process aims to face fears first and figure out how to face the situation too.
PROCESS
Part 1: Facing fears
Think about a situation that you are going to face and that scares you.
Part 2: Facing situation
Now think again about the situation that you are going to face
Part 3: Conclusion
You can feel the beliefs becoming stronger into you, the awareness of your capabilities growing and you are ready for taking action into the environment (looking back to the path just done meanwhile saying that).
As this feeling is growing in you, you can see a symbol of this new state and the more the feelings grow, the more this symbol becomes vivid.
Now take this symbol with you. It will remind you that all the resources are already in yourself (anchor) and take it into your future.
Eco-check.
PROCESS
Part 1: Facing fears
Think about a situation that you are going to face and that scares you.
- Think about your fears for this situation and give them a symbol.
- (Reframing) What good do they bring to you? What is their positive function
- Thank them for their positive side and meanwhile you do so you can see their symbol getting a nice friendly color.
- Eco-check.
Part 2: Facing situation
Now think again about the situation that you are going to face
- Imagine now a personality who is absolutely able to handle this situation, there is no need to imagine his |her in details, it is enough to have a blurry imagine. This personality is a bit far from you but soon you will get closer and the imagine will be clear.
- Where is he |she?*
What does he |she do?*
What are his |her capabilities?*
What are his | her beliefs?*
Now that the picture of this person is clear in front of you take one more step so that you blend together with this personality, which is actually the best version of yourself. You are now one identity.
*(for each question take a step further)
Part 3: Conclusion
You can feel the beliefs becoming stronger into you, the awareness of your capabilities growing and you are ready for taking action into the environment (looking back to the path just done meanwhile saying that).
As this feeling is growing in you, you can see a symbol of this new state and the more the feelings grow, the more this symbol becomes vivid.
Now take this symbol with you. It will remind you that all the resources are already in yourself (anchor) and take it into your future.
Eco-check.
The Self-Council
by Andra Simina Tureac
Introduction
The “Self-Council” method was born out of the necessity of being aware that we have 4 parts in ourselves: the child, the teenager, the adult and the old man. These 4 parts can speak for us when we have an inner conflict or when we are in a negative state that stop us from taking conscious decisions for creating the results we want in life.
It can be applied with clients who have inner conflicts, inner questions like “Who I am?” problems with decision-making or not being in the energetic state of setting a goal.
Steps
1. Identify the inner conflict or the problem that stop the client from taking decisions.
2. Build rapport. Arrange the client in the position ready for the NLP practice.
3. Ask the client to make a visual image of each part (Child, Teenager, Adult, Old Man) and place each part somewhere in the practice environment. Ask client to pick something from the practice environment linked to the roles described above. (Mentioning that the practice will happen outdoors, the client is free to find some objects that he/she connects with the Child, Adolescent, Adult and Old Man).
4. The client will position himself in a Meta Position and tells the problem to the parts like in a Council way.
5. After the practitioner explains the client the position in the practice environment, the client must now put himself in the above roles: Child, Teenager, Adult and Old Man.
6. Ask the client to give himself the answer according to each role. The practitioner will ask the client to step in the Child’s role: What would the child do in relation to the problem? What resources can the Child give you? Then to step in the Adolescent’s role. What would the Adolescent do? What resources can he give you? Then step into the Adult’s role. What would the Adult do? What resources can he give you? Then step into the Old Man’s role. What would the Old Man do? What resources can he give you?
7. After each role is completed, the client has to sit in the Meta position again. The practitioner asks the client how he/she feels now. Which part had the strongest message? What are the 4 parts telling as a big picture? Bring together all these resources. Consensus. If you have all these, what is the result for that? Keep asking until the client finds something in common of the 4 parts. (Which part you felt that gave you a new insight? A new perspective? How do you see it now as a whole picture?)
8. Test and future pace.
9. If the client is not satisfied, he is invited to step again into each role and find more resources and again find the common thing of the 4 parts.
The “Self-Council” method was born out of the necessity of being aware that we have 4 parts in ourselves: the child, the teenager, the adult and the old man. These 4 parts can speak for us when we have an inner conflict or when we are in a negative state that stop us from taking conscious decisions for creating the results we want in life.
It can be applied with clients who have inner conflicts, inner questions like “Who I am?” problems with decision-making or not being in the energetic state of setting a goal.
Steps
1. Identify the inner conflict or the problem that stop the client from taking decisions.
2. Build rapport. Arrange the client in the position ready for the NLP practice.
3. Ask the client to make a visual image of each part (Child, Teenager, Adult, Old Man) and place each part somewhere in the practice environment. Ask client to pick something from the practice environment linked to the roles described above. (Mentioning that the practice will happen outdoors, the client is free to find some objects that he/she connects with the Child, Adolescent, Adult and Old Man).
4. The client will position himself in a Meta Position and tells the problem to the parts like in a Council way.
5. After the practitioner explains the client the position in the practice environment, the client must now put himself in the above roles: Child, Teenager, Adult and Old Man.
6. Ask the client to give himself the answer according to each role. The practitioner will ask the client to step in the Child’s role: What would the child do in relation to the problem? What resources can the Child give you? Then to step in the Adolescent’s role. What would the Adolescent do? What resources can he give you? Then step into the Adult’s role. What would the Adult do? What resources can he give you? Then step into the Old Man’s role. What would the Old Man do? What resources can he give you?
7. After each role is completed, the client has to sit in the Meta position again. The practitioner asks the client how he/she feels now. Which part had the strongest message? What are the 4 parts telling as a big picture? Bring together all these resources. Consensus. If you have all these, what is the result for that? Keep asking until the client finds something in common of the 4 parts. (Which part you felt that gave you a new insight? A new perspective? How do you see it now as a whole picture?)
8. Test and future pace.
9. If the client is not satisfied, he is invited to step again into each role and find more resources and again find the common thing of the 4 parts.
Stop Thinking and Become More Social
by Giovanni Marino
The technique is intended to help someone who has an issue with overthinking by stopping his overthinking process and making him or her focused on the environment and people around him or her.
This technique is based on the chain of the following anchors:
This technique is based on the chain of the following anchors:
The client choose a spot in the space, that is the “Overthinking spot” and represent the undesired state from which he wants moove. The practitioner uses milthon language to guide the client in the next 4 spots by making him move in the space until he reaches the last spot: “Socialbeing spot” where the client is not overthinking anymore, instead he is focused on the environment and the people around and is more social.
SCRIPT:
SCRIPT:
- The client and the practitioner are standing. “Can you remember a time when you felt you were overthinking? Can you remember a specific time? Good, as you remember that time now, step into your body, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel the feelings you feel when you overthink and then sink in those feelings.”
- Now the practitioner stops the thinking process of the client by doing something unexpected like as follows: he claps his hands and says: “Get out of your head! Take action! Move a step forward!” and he takes the person making him move a step forward. “And while you are moving forward I want you to feel totally aware of what is happening around you and as long as you are aware you begin to step forward and you can take action and move on till when you feel totally away from away as you move on and on. And the more you move on the more you feel away from away and the more you are away from away the more you move on and on, you take a step and another step and you know that you can take action whenever you want and keep on moving forward and forward”. While the practitioner is saying this he and the client are ideally walking together.
- “As long as you go away from away you head towards people around you and you notice that you can stop and you can close your eyes and remind a situation when you felt totally totally connected with people, see what you saw, hear what you heard and feel the feeling of being totally connected with them and enjoy the feeling now.”
- “And I want you to feel even more connected and take one more step forward when you are ready to focus totally on the relationship and enjoy the feelings even more.”
- “And when you are ready to completely get out of your mind, feeling totally away from away and to focus completely on what is around you and on the relationships with people feeling more and more a social and more and more aware of the who and what is around you, you can take action and move one step forward and as long as you feel away from away and connected with people around you, now you might want to think things over but not overthink anymore.” While saying this the practitioner anchors this state.